Zim finds love in the petstore!
by Invader Squee1
Summary: See title.Nuff said.First fic!
1. Chaos!

Hi! This is Invader Squee with my first fanfic! Flames and reviews are welcome. If it's a little short could you please give me some advice? Thanx! (huggles you)^v^!~ Invader Squee  
  
Zim finds love in the petstore!  
  
Chapter one:Chaos!  
  
(It's morning on a Saturday and Zim is sleeping in the lab. All's quiet until Gir walks up in the toilet. Literally!)  
  
Gir: (snores with his head in the toilet, making bubbles) Anhhhh..bubbubububu...anhhhhhhhh..WHA! huh? My taco sense is tingling!  
  
(Gis flushes himself down the toilet. Outside a man is walking by, just coming from Krazy Taco with today's special, "Super Diarrhea Chili Taco Meal". Suddenly there's a metallic groaning from the side walk and Gir comes blasting up from the sewage pipe, laughing like a maniac)  
  
Gir: (laughs like a maniac)HEEEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHE!!!(jumps onto the man's face, grabbing his cheekies(not his butt you sickos!) and gives him a demented smile)  
  
Man: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Wha.What do you want!??( pees his pants like a baby)  
  
Gir: ME! WANT! TACO's!!!!!!!!!!(grabs the bag and runs off, giving the man one last look)You all wet! Bye-Bye!(runs into the house devouring his taco's)  
  
Man: (has a heart attack)  
  
*~*in Zim's lab*~*  
  
( Zim is sleeping in his big-chair-mathingy (you know, the red one) when Gir comes in running around and screaming)  
  
Gir: WHHEEEEEEE HEHE! I'm Running naked!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHHA! (he break dances in front of Zim's chair) I'M DANCING LIKE A MON-KEY! 6_9!  
  
Zim: Gir! Quiet down! Can't you SEE that the mighty ZIM is sleeping?!?!!?  
  
(Gir stops for a bit)  
  
Gir: OHHHH..YeAh. (continues to dance) Muffins!!! Zim:( sigh) Let's go to the filthy stink mall and get you a muzzle.  
  
Gir: Ok! My groin need's one too! ^_^!  
  
Zim: O.o? O-kay! Lets Go!.( they leave)  
Ok! There's chappie one! Hope ya'll like it! Flames, Reviews, and I need suggestions please! Thanx! 


	2. WARNING: Kraziness

Okiee dokie artichokey smokey!I'm still alive. And I'm boosting the rating up to pg-13because of "vulgarness' said by an un-named reviewer. Note:If you didn't like chapter onethan don't read chapter two, okay? 'Cause it only gonna get worse!-Invader Squee  
  
Chp2: WARNING:Kraziness!  
  
( ZIM and Gir show up at the mall's entrance in their disguise's and enter. The mall is full of young people doing stupid stuff. One kid is swallowing hotdogs from a tube and there's a crowd chanting "CHUG CHUG CHUG!". Another couple of kids are racing bikes to a bike rack, not stopping, and run into it and flip over laughing like crack monkeys! Zim shudders and Gir squeals like a frigging pig and runs over to the "Flaming Taco Eating" stand.)  
  
Zim: (shudders) Flithy! Stinking! Snout worms!!! Look at 'em! They deserve to be destroyed! Ohh! I can see how I will rule them all with a fist of IRON!.. or maybe on iron glove because my hands are too pretty!(Looks over his shoulder and sees Gir missing) Gir? Gir! O greeeeeaaatt! Now I have to look for that mutt!  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
( Gir is happily running away from security guards while on fire)  
  
Gir: WHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HEHEHEHEHEHEEEEE! I'm gonna light up the night!!WHeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEE!  
  
S.G.#1: But it's day time! Get back here! OR ELSE!  
  
Gir: My friend Else isn't here! She's in a McMeaty's burger!! HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Gir touches two kids making out, setting them on fire)  
  
Boy: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!Augh! My first kiss sucks!!!!!  
  
Girl: I HATE the other sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH IT BURNS!  
  
( Gir rounds a corner and runs into a stack propane tanks.(A/N: Idn't dat nice?) The tanks blow up one by one. Meanwhile again...)  
  
(A little boy named Stuart and his mother Jessica are out the door close to the tanks. Little Stuart is kinda reluctant)  
  
Stuart:(clawing at the ground as his mom drags him by the feet) NOOOO! I Don't WANT TA GOOOO! YOU CANT MAKE ME! Jessica: Stuart! We're not gonna blow up if we go inside! I PROMISE!  
  
Stuart: (gets up on his feet when hearing this) o-k.If you say so!  
  
Jessica: ( Good. Now lets go inside.  
  
( They walk in just as the tanks explode)  
  
Stuart: (glares at his mom) You lying bitch. (get caught in the explosion and die and doomie death)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``  
  
Ok! That was longer than my last one I Think. Thanx to peeps who r&r! Flames, reviews, funny comments, or advice. (huggles you) 


	3. Allknowing Zim and Paper Ripping

YAAAAAY! 2 more reviews! I wuff you all!(except Lord Whatshisname) I'm open to flames dudes and dudettes but I don't like them. O-key? And I will write more! Don't worry! ~Invader Squee  
  
Ch3: All-knowing Zim and Paper ripping.  
  
(The security guards stopped dead in their tracks when they saw the explosion coming at them and a guy jumping off the 3 story mall ledge to get out of the way(A/N:WHHEE!)  
  
S.G.#1: I DON'T WANNA DIE! (points to a dog humping a guy's leg) TAKE HIM! HE SHOULDA BEEN NEUTERED ANYWAY! (sobs uncontrollably)  
  
S.G.#2: (praying) Please lord, I'm sorry! I didn't know she was 17! Please don't punish me this way! (says something about it wasn't his fault with the cross-dressing chimp)  
  
S.G.#3: PLEASE! End it now!!!!! I was recently shaved against my will by Michael Jackson! I WAS NEVER THE SAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(The security guards hug each other and get eaten up by the explosion)  
  
Gir: O.O!(drools) COOooooOOOoooOOOL! (jumps into the fiery explosion) MY TURN!!!!!!!  
  
Meanwhile..  
  
(Zim is walking around looking for Gir on the 67th floor when he sees a hobo putting up posters that say: Zim is an alien! Throw mutant bass at his head! Zim lowers his eyes at him and struts over to the hobo(A/N: You know how he does it)  
  
Zim: Greetings FILTHY slop beast! I was just wondering why you're putting those wood sheets up on everything.  
  
Hobo: (snorts like a piggy)Um..I..O-yeah! A big headed kid with 300 "kick me!" signs on his back paid me a nickel to put these here papers all over!  
  
Zim: Why a nickel?  
  
Hobo: (demented smile) So I can have my nickel, Earl have a wedding!  
  
Zim: argh.  
  
(Zim grabs the poster and is about to rip it in half)  
  
Hobo: Wait! Don't hurt it!!!!!! Zim: Stupid, stinking EH EH EH human! I will not hurt anyone!(under his breath) Not yet anyway..  
  
( Zim rips it down the wide side)  
  
That Instant.  
  
Bob the Builder: Can we build it!  
  
Gang: Yes we can!  
  
( Bob's upper half is ripped off from the bottom half that instant)  
  
Gang: OoO!  
  
Wendy: uhh.Can we fix him?  
  
Gang: Yes we can! ^-^!  
  
*Back to Zim*  
  
Zim: SEE!?! The Mighty ZIIIM is all-knowing! ( walks off happily whistling when he gets hit with mustard and starts to sizzle) AHHHHHHHHHH It BURNS! Help Me! (runs around in a circle and runs into a trash can)  
  
Hobo: I thought he was all-knowing. I mean, couldn't he see that was coming?  
  
Alright! Third chappie! Note: All Bob the Builder bashing was simulated by clay and ketchup. Thank you! Dib: Isn't Bob the Builder MADE of clay? Me:oops! 


	4. Game Zombies and Scary Monkeys

Whazzup party peoples! Thanks to all my reviewers who like my story so far!(sniff) It means so much that you like me!WHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!(sobs)~Invader Squee  
  
Ch4: Game Zombies and Scary Monkeys  
  
(Gir is burnt like a crisp, laughing his robotic tushie off from the explosion or " amusement ride")  
  
Gir: HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEEEEEEEEEE! That was so FUUUUUUN! Too bad those other guys didn't like it!( walks past the burnt, twitching bodies of the security guards)  
  
(Gir walks down to the food court and sees a loooooooooong line of people wearing "Scary Monkey" merchandise talking among themselves loudly)  
  
Gir: (walks up to a guy who has his head hung back, drool trailing down his mouth) Hey Mr. Man-I-Don't-Know! Whats all these people-lys doing in this line? Are they waiting for the bathroom?(excited) DO THEY DRINK OUTA THE TOILET TOO?!?!!!  
  
Drool Beast: Eh. a talking dawg! Heh heh heh! Dancin' duckies! Oh! Umm. The Scary Monkay is here signing autographs and giving away free rabies!  
  
(a man walks away, foaming at the mouth and scaring little children)  
  
Gir: I LIKE RABIES! ^_^! AND the Scary Monkey!(gets in line)  
  
Meanwhile.(a/n: Yep, the famous Meanwhile)  
  
(Zim has a band-aid where he was hit with the mustard and continues his search for Gir and a muzzle)  
  
Zim: (growls) Stupid Humans! I hate their filthy SLUDGE they call "food"! If it wasn't for human food, I wouldn't have hurt my delicate head in that drive by Mustarding!  
  
(Zim is walking, still talking to himself when he hears a voice from the arcade and stops)  
  
Video Game: SO alien! You want to rule the world? Well If you defeat the Military you can rule the Earth with an IRON fist! Or iron glove if you prefer! Can you take the Heat?  
  
Zim: Oohhh! The moment I've been waiting for! To rule this stink ball of DIRT!( walks up to the video game named " Alien Invasion") What do I do?  
  
Video Game: Just put in 4 quarters! Zim: ( puts in the quarters as the "game" starts. The music and lights then put a spell on Zim as the screen flashes "Game Over, insert more money!") Must put in more MONIES!! (Put in quarters none stop until it starts to over load, sending a electric charge through the other scams.I mean games that also put money spells on the other zombies)  
  
(the games over load and explode, and the S.W.A.T team comes in and beats the arcade owners with night sticks labeled " Ugly Stick". The leader comes up to Zim with a smile)  
  
Swat Leader: Well down, Wig and Contacts lad! We've been trying to get the dirt on these guys for minutes! You did such a good job, it's like you rule the world! HaHa keep up the good work, "Boss"! Lets go boys!(they run off with the bad guys)  
  
Zim: (grins evilly) I? Rule the world? O- Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssss!  
  
Angry Mob: There he is! He ruined are games! Get him!( they chase Zim With pitch forks)  
  
Zim: STOP! I rule YOUUUUUUU! I'm your Master!!!!!  
  
Ooooo..Poor Zim. What will he do now he thinks he rules earth? Find out next chapter! And I know this chappie's kinda lame. I will work on it! 


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